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Pages: what would you do if your kinky relationship [1]
Author Topic: What would you do if your kinky relationship

Posts: 10

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2011-07-16 21-17-00

what would you do if your kinky relationship ended abruptly? if your significant other all of a sudden decided they no longer wanted to live this lifestyle. how would you handle that? could you walk away from kink and lead a vanilla life? would you miss it? would you go outside your relationship to get your kinks on?
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Posts: 3

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2011-07-27 20-05-26

Do what everyone else does Move on and hope for better next time.
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Posts: 11

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2011-09-04 1-25-15-

if you are married, you cant just move on for something like that...
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    Posts: 18

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    2011-10-09 23-11-31

    May not be easy, But if it's over what choice do you have?
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  • toenjes

    Posts: 15

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    2011-10-15 3-45-38-

    holy heck my marriage isnt over, just the kink in my husband! :)
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    Posts: 33

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    2011-12-13 0-24-58-

    Missunderstood, forgive me. Now I understand. I've been married x years, and the sex life has changed a lot over that time frame. Not always for the better, just need to cope and find some common ground.
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    Posts: 43

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    2012-01-22 3-17-40-

    No fairness in this world I'm trying to get my wife to be more kinky, your husband trying to get you less kinky. Buy we'll cope.
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    Sr. Member
    Posts: 46

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    2012-03-26 17-46-27

    Hmmmmm Well, I married her for her, not what we necessarily do in bed. So, I loved her before kink, I know I would love her without kink. How to handle it? If I could get NO sex? I would masturbate for one, and ask for the right to seek pleasure elsewhere. I would expect it be a medical reason for no sex at all, otherwise I would have a serious issue with no contact at all for a bs reason like "I just dont want to". Could I walk away? If I had to. I could do vanilla again, easily. I like vanilla. Would I miss it? Sure. Who doesnt like vanilla with sprinkles? chocolate sauce? caramel? a sundae? Would I go outside? Only with permission. If she said no, I would honor my wife. If there was all sexual contact cut off period? (and it wasnt medical) Then we would be at a deal breaker moment.
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    Posts: 51

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    2012-07-04 23-54-46

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    Posts: 41

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    2012-09-20 19-03-43

    i think i would try to make it work but in the end you can't box up a part of you and be completly happy. if you do you'll have needs that will go unmet. you have to have some outlet for them or they can become bones of contention that lead to resentment and bitterness. i would try to talk to my so find out why the sudden change, seek counsling if i thought it would help, ask them if they would be ok with me going outside the relationship to meet my needs or even possibly bringing another person into the relationship and probly end up with more tats and piercings to meet my need for pain til the problem could be resloved.
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    Posts: 10

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    2012-11-16 3-35-24-

    well... you cant box up anything but you can hold off, and going out side of the relationship (like marrage) could be considered a deal breaker and end it all, i married for him not the sex, datings diff. theres no 'lawful bondage'
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    Posts: 29

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    2012-12-26 18-52-11

    true but i can honestly say i've never had a successful vanilla relationship... my need for pain and the ablitly to trust someone enough to give up the control i hold so tightly to during my normal day is extreamly important to me. all of my tattoos and piercings have come during times in my life when i wasn't meeting those needs in my relationships.
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  • aimee

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    Posts: 40

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    2013-02-19 19-39-28

    I've been down that road. It's...not terribly fun. Throwing the kink away and going straight vanilla, I mean. I think if a relationship begins as kinky, to just put it down and say, "Well, that's all over--man and wife for us now, okay honey?" is...totally impossible. I would probably just walk all the way away from a situation like that. Are you just curious, or is somethin' goin' on? I'm nosy, sorry.
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  • geddings

    Posts: 49

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    2013-03-13 10-21-44

    Waves hi. been a while
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    Posts: 40

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    2013-04-17 1-24-19-

    sigh... i think this is what he really wants. we had a xsome awhile back that sorta ended in drama (not exactly with the girl) but since then i thought we were BOTH looking for another girl for us. turns out, he doesnt want to b/c he feels guilty b/c he took an oath to me. i cant be mad at him for this. in way, its kinda cute. and he doesnt like the rough stuff we used to do b/c he says it makes him mad while we are doing it . he comes out of it mad. he is so cute about it and i understand why, but now that im exposed to it, it will be hard to stop it all together. especially since i am so close to finding a girl for us. i really liked her too :(
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  • bellinger

    Posts: 30

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    2013-08-09 7-15-33-

    Let me field this .. You took a vow to him. He took a vow to you. You both agreed to expand things. So he doesnt need to feel like he did something wrong. (I know he probably does, but...) The fact it was a x/x decision is something he needs to think about. Nothing goes right the first time. Just explain to him the dedication youhave to your marriage is fine, butbad times shouldnt color him against further kinks. There is a lot of fun to be had, and as long as youcommunicate and agree to respect and working issues as they come up, why shouldnt you have fun?
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    Posts: 36

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    2013-10-08 8-32-42-

    if it was my fiance who made that choice yes id be fine going vanilla. but if it was just a guy i was dating i wouldnt change.
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