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Pages: Do I have the right to be upset? (It's long) [1]
Author Topic: Do I have the right to be upset? (It's long)
ashok

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Posts: 74

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2015-06-02 17-28-25

Do I have the right to be upset? (It's long) I'm in an exclusive relationship of x months. I like him very much and here recently am beginning to think that I've fallen in love with him. Although those x words have never been said between us, I believe he feels the same. He has been separated chat with horny womenyears from his wife and they will very shortly begin divorce proceedings. We have mentioned little things about a future together with theof us, so I know he sees our relationship going somewhere, I don't in any way question his feelings towards me, but my problem is this... Him and his wife had been together on and off for x years. She's known to bbw meet and fuck , leave him and then come crawling home when things don't go the way she wants them to. This has happened numerous times in the past. About a month ago, she ed him and told him that she was coming "home". He told her no. Since then I've noticed that she s more. What was once brief conversations regarding their mature single has turned into many daily s to "chit chat" with him. She finds reasons to pop over to his house, even when I'm there. There are so many more little things, like how close she stands next to him, the little things she says. If I hearmore "Remember that time", I'm likely to scream. He doesn't feed into her older women in warwick that a horny , but he isn't doing anything to stop them either. He talks with her on the phone, then will say how hard it is to be civil. He once told me that he tries to keep a friendship with her because of their horny women in florida , I get that. Honestly, I do. I just can't help but feel that it's deeper than that. I can handle her being around and theof them parenting by sexy dating together, but I can't handle what she is doing right now. It's driving me insane. How do I explain to him that it bothers me? Do I have the right to tell him that I feel she shouldn't be at his house alone with him? I'm talking about when their horny ladies aren't there. Is it my place to tell him that I'm not comfortable with their pointless telephone conversations? I'm not a crazy jealous person and I don't want to come off that way. I know he would show me the respect of not having any other woman doing the things that she is doing, so am I wrong in expecting that same respect regarding his ex? Do I say something or am I overstepping my bounds? How would I even begin a conversation like this?
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arenson

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Posts: 36

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2015-06-12 10-17-50

I think you have every right to be upset. He's her security blanket, her safety net, and she's trying to hang on to that by messing with your relationship. He may be too close to the situation to see what's happening. Remind him of her behavior in the past. You need to talk to him and explain why her behavior has changed and how it's inappropriate and disrespectful to you. And you need to discuss boundaries with him, like not being alone with her or having long conversations that have no immediate connection to the parenting issues. It won't be an easy conversation to start, but do it calmly and rationally, and explain that this is about her and how she's threatening your relationship.
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  • easterlin

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    Posts: 62

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    2015-06-13 9-55-49-

    Being alone with her is the main thing that gets to me. I guess I've been trying to figure out if we had reached the point in our relationship that I had the right to tell him I won't accept that. x years to x months...that can causeto wonder. Thanks Miss
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    bennison

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    2015-06-23 19-30-46

    You have that right because you're the one in an exclusive relationship with him, not her.
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  • poor

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    Posts: 36

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    2015-07-23 4-01-48-

    While I agree with the previous posts Remember you can't change people. This relationship dynamic has been in play for x years b/t them. You are a "fad" in her mind, just as her flings were to her. Even if you are something deeper to him, there is a long way to go before that will develop into anything that deems respect from her. You of course can say whatever you like and being open about your feelings is important in a relationship....but don't get angry if nothing changes. It most likely won't. You havechoices...hang in there until you put your time in and become a real part of the hong kong swingers ; or, leave and save yourself the drama.
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    meger

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    2015-08-14 1-09-38-

    food for thought ... He's married to her. They both have histories of cheating (he's cheating with you right now). They have a history of being on and off for x yrs. She's trying to get back with her husband now. You are probably the thin veneer that is keeping him away from reuniting with her right now. You wouldn't believe it, but I did the same thing you are doing right now. I was in a relationship with a guy that was married for x yrs and then got a divorce. He started dating me before they divorced. He said things about having a future with me; said he loved me, etc. They had x pussy in abingdon together. She also had a history of cheating and their relationship was on & off. We lived together for x.x yrs. Our relationship wasn't a stable, strong relationship. It was on life support and then he cheated and I kicked him out for good. That was the final straw. A year later, he married the woman he had the affair with. I would encourage you to look at your relationship with him. If you guys communicate well, if your values are compatible, if you have a shared vision for the future, if you're willing to be step mom to his married women wanting sex and if you can bear a future with his soon to be ex-wife being in the horny bitches chat , then yes say something. And consider backing off the relationship until he gets a divorce. Its completely out of integrity for him to date you and have a committed relationship with you while he's still married. It doesn't take x yrs to get a divorce. And, its out of integrity for you to date a married man. I learned the hard way and I'll never date a married man again ... under no circumstances will I ever do that again. Know why? Because if he cheats on his wife, he'll free cyber sex ch on you. And he will. No matter what the sob story or justification for stepping out on his marriage, he'll do to you what he is doing to her. If you don't like how he treats his wife now, expect him to treat you the same way. It's never the circumstances ... it really is a reflection of the personality and character of the person. The truth is, you are free and unemcumbered. You have a right to date someone who is also free and unemcumbered. This guy isn't free or unemcumbered. Not at all. The best thing you can do is really see things as they are, not how you want them to be. Best,
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    hershner

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    2015-09-09 4-37-10-

    Listen to this!! +x I heart karmadas. Even if he were divorced, I really think that it is probably too soon for him.
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  • bausch

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    2015-10-08 14-10-08

    Here is the real problem You are with a amn who is still married. If he truly wanted a divorce he would have already had it. Most likely if you weren't there, her attentions would at least get them sleeping together again. It sounds like he isn't ready to move on, or else he would tell wifey to move on, but he hasn't. I'd start looking for an available guy, shagging females .
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  • chiasson

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    2015-11-01 21-10-35

    uh .... yep
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    Sol

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    2015-12-22 1-01-30-

    I'm in agreement with most of what everyone is saying. I understand that he is still married and some may view what we are doing as not right, but what we have isn't some crazy love affair. There are sincere feelings between theof us. There are reasons to them not divorcing before now...and these reasons have recently been resolved. She is living with the man that she left him for x years ago and it seems she had no interest of coming home until she realized that I wasn't some "flavor of the week" as she has previously spoke of me. He has seen a couple of other woman in the past, but nothing like what we are now. I'm going to talk with him and bring everything to the table. It may be time that I tell him exactly how I feel and exactly what I want, then step back for awhile and let him work this all out.
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    bursch

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    Posts: 31

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    2015-12-27 23-29-07

    Honey, every woman thinks she is different and every woman thinks that she is "the one" - that is how so many women get roped into long-term affairs with married men. And why so many of them end up shocked and surprised when those same men go back to their wives - sometimes YEARS later, and say to everyone, "But we were different. There were real, sincere feelings between us!" There may well be feelings there. That doesn't change the fact that he still has feelings for his wife, too. In the real world, it isn't always black and white. He could care for both of you and be very confused right now, and the simple truth is, there's a lot more history with her than with you.
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  • mynhier

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    2016-04-07 18-52-44

    Exactly... that is why I had my original question of do I have the right... I'm seeing now that yes, I do have that right, however, I can't allow myself to be surprised when this doesn't go the way I would like to see it go. I'm not choosing to ignore the obvious. I don't feel that I have something over her, this is his wife. It's with the understanding that they have such a history together that I came to this forum. I've just been trying to figure out where I had room to say something and where I needed to except it the way it is or move on. Beings that I'm not willing to settle and live every day wondering how he feels deep inside and which way he would have it, given the option, I really feel that I need to let him know how I feel and back off. Its not going to be easy to do.
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