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Pages: let's say you live 14 miles apart [1]
Author Topic: Let's say you live 14 miles apart
beckler

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2011-08-10 11-21-55

let's say you live x miles apart and have a new girlfriend. she has roommates and you both would rather stay at your place. let's say the plan is to pick her up at her place (x miles away) take her back to your place, spend the night together, then drop her back home the next day. she can drive, and has actually driven to the guy's place the last few times. would it be a big deal to you if you had to pick her up then drop her off? is it a bad sign if the guy complains about picking her up and expects her to drive to his place all the time?
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cebula

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Posts: 11

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2011-09-22 0-54-50-

it should be split evenly... x miles isn't that long anyway
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grounds

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2011-11-19 23-26-51

either the guy drives more or it's half and half if the guy forces the girl to drive more, you should really re-consider the relationship.
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  • alberto

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    2012-01-11 8-51-07-

    what if the guy isn't forcing the girl to drive more... but the girl can sense he is "complaining" or somewhat has to be talked into picking her up, but then agrees to it? is that a bad sign or normal?
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  • legault

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    2012-01-12 5-41-11-

    then don't beat around the bush and just get to the heart of the mr. sit down and talk with him about it. "Do you believe it's fair for you to drive half the time?" And get his answer. If it's "absolutely!" then you need to explain to him that you can "sense" his "complaining" and that you have to sometimes talk him into picking you up when you were the one that picked him up last time. You need to talk to him about it. Most problems should be solved that way.
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  • mcqueen

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    2012-03-12 12-48-17

    i like your advice and way of thinking why do you feel it's either the guy drives more or it's half and half? just want to understand further.
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  • don

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    2012-06-02 3-40-28-

    thank you. and it's the chivalry thing. If you're into it, great, if not, scrap it. Does he pay for meals or do you guys split it? or do you pay? :P
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  • Melany

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    2012-07-16 3-49-16-

    welcome. i love chivalry & agree w/you on that yes, he has paid for every meal so far. we've gone out about x times. i've been very gracious and tried to be aware not to order anything too expensive or more thandrink, if at all. at what point should i start paying you think?
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    torre

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    2012-07-31 22-43-31

    i think you should just be open and talk about it. also, it's been revealed to me that he drivestrips whenever he picks you up, whereas when you drive down, you only drivetrips. So, to be fair, he should drive once everyweeks, and you should drive twice everyweeks, the otherweeks.
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    teachout

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    Posts: 22

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    2012-08-14 19-48-21

    can't tell if you're serious or joking?
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    pensyl

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    2012-10-31 8-43-45-

    but you guys both agree you prefer his place. then it's just your time in the car. if he drives and picks you up, then that means he also spends more time in the car. if it matters that much, you guys should spend more evenly the time at your place.
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  • Sula

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    2012-12-21 4-53-08-

    there's also cost of gas/mileage to consider and the whole chivalry thing.
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  • leala

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    2013-02-11 5-47-50-

    i remember dating a woman who lived in SF i often went to the city to stay with her. she worked in Berkeley. i have to say it became a serious drag to drive an hour into SF and i resented that she didn't stay with me when it made more sense commuting-wise.
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    chickering

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    2013-02-13 23-50-59

    at what point did you start resenting her? unfortunately, you probably didn't realize you were actually being very chivalrous and loving by going to her place. i would have truly appreciated that.
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    arda

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    Posts: 36

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    2013-03-25 19-42-33

    what if it was reversed? how would you feel?
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  • kees

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    2013-03-26 21-29-21

    No. Yes. It should be a x-x effort.
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    britnell

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    2013-05-15 9-51-12-

    Oh, I know, I know! You take the fox and the bag of corn across intrip, leave the fox and go back and get the goose...
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    Vita

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    2013-06-06 15-38-55

    you're taking the bag of corn to the goose? i hope you leave the bag when taking the goose!! or is that still an out?
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  • rittner

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    2013-09-29 0-17-13-

    if i had a gf that lived x miles away i wouldnt be complaining on rofo about it, i would be picking her up.
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  • fullilove

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    2013-10-18 10-57-09

    With equal rights come equal responsibilities. No reason he should be driving x miles every time. Split it.
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  • Alane

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    2013-10-25 8-21-00-

    no, she's thethat's been driving to his place a lot...
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    lemelle

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    2013-10-26 20-40-53

    Oh! Well split it still. Sorry for the misread.
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    Mei

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    2013-10-31 14-48-07

    that depends
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    ramm

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    2013-11-23 18-08-01

    this seems as something which has been thought about too much.
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  • Fritz

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    2013-12-05 1-58-41-

    Take a quick walk? I dunno
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  • britton

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    2013-12-06 18-13-59

    Just fuck in the car halfway between
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    2013-12-19 5-25-33-

    he's lazy and spoiled
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  • topalian

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    2013-12-29 15-40-50

    Do you have anywhere better to go? He is providing a place to stay, food, and paying all the bills.
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  • allegretti

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    2014-01-03 6-49-45-

    If you drive to his place it's... x trip there andtrip back. If he drives to your place to pick you up, it's x trips each way. Use the force, Lucy.
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